covalent, making a habit of having a suicidal broad on the sofa, pass the tissues, would you like some tea, or do i just bring it out in people, maybe i should give it a go, get a nice chaise-longue, waking at four, only time i can be emotionally available, all i can do with claire is dissociate, the occasional welling up at most, wonder if it will be different in person, afraid of my feelings about that specifically, sarcastic asshole, have i become too cynical, mcmindfulness, yoga, colonialism, harold fucking pinter, melancholia, thinking the worst thoughts when someone is being vulnerable to me, thanks brain, fritillaria, what if the garden is not enough, only thing keeping me going, or at least keeping me in a job that is killing me, can i see, dirty boy, bolt upright on the sofa, is it really that uncomfortable or is that just what you do, so close to fucking everything up it seems, or is the fact that i don’t the thing that separates me from him, is the bar just so fucking low, what is that noise, can you hear things that other people can’t hear, how often in the last two weeks have you felt disappointed in yourself, self-appointment, turn off the humidifier, oh fuck off, can’t get a sound out of this flute half the time, circular breathing, bob from the vagina monologues, that room deodoriser, claire, have you ever known anyone who committed suicide, yes, too many, and i guess there likely will be more, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed, there’s no shame in it, you arrogant prick, not book smart or street
bond