I've been in love before But it's never been as hot as this Smoke curling round the door Memories of old loves crack and blister Mister fireman bet you couldn't put me out if you tried
the fact that great fire burning, the fact that tms was so bad today it took me a while to get over it and all i wanted was a hot chocolate and a gluten free lap dance, the fact that i floated the idea to katya and she came up with the artisanal sipping chocolate anarchic strip club of portland, the fact that great fire burning through, the fact that i’ve listening to this song before, the fact that it’s never been as hot as this, the fact that where am i hiding in all my recent writing, the fact that am i becoming more fractured or am i just afraid to write a single coherent sentence, the fact that writing a single coherent sentence that means anything at all is one of the hardest things, the fact that i stole this from lucy ellmann but i’m yet to come up with a better way of getting these thoughts out in any kind of coherent way, the fact that what does cohere mean, co-here, the fact that what if i turn this into an unordered list, the fact that i stole that from lucy ellmann too, the fact that i stole that from georges perec too, the fact that i am only now watching small prophets and it has broken my heart and made me laugh a couple of times too, the fact that he reminds me obliquely of imogen, the fact that the opening scenes told a beautiful story without words and i wonder how much that meant to most people, the fact that was that a generous gardener arching over his doorway, the fact that the cunts from the home owners association, the fact that i’m still watching your movies and shows like you’re still here, the fact that you never were here, the fact that michael palin reminds me obliquely of dad, the fact that i responded to kira like a robot but maybe that’s what she needed to hear, the fact that maybe it did help to say some things out loud to her, try to make sense vocally of all the things i’ve been unable to capture here, the fact that i had listened to great fire a great many times, the fact that i thought it was about a real fire because i never understand what anyone is saying, the fact that it had me in tears today when i figured it out, the fact that delayed processing, the fact that memories of old loves crack and blister, the fact that mummer is a quietly devastating album, the fact that i haven’t been able to write for months now, the fact that i just remembered anna today, the fact that we can add her to the pile, the fact that all griefs are stored in the same box, the fact that i just got a notification and i remembered it was cow without looking at it, the fact that my sickness might have hurt you and i still want you to read this anyway, the fact that i shouldn’t blame it on the sickness like i’m kanye west or something, the fact that is it the asymmetry of it, the fact that hendiadys is a funny word, the fact that i finally finished pruning the persimmon tree today, the fact that i pruned the bradford pear a bit too but i’ll never be done with that, the fact that i might never be done pulling up all those euphorbia seedlings, the fact that the other euphorbias seem to have all died and i don’t know why, the fact that i’ll try again this year and hope for something different, the fact that my neighbours are sad about people leaving poop in their garden, the fact that so am i, the fact that they put a sign up, the fact that maybe i should put a sign up, the fact that will there be more poop now in my garden because of their sign, the fact that poop used to mean vagina, the fact that i told katya this on our call today, the fact that maybe i shouldn’t have done that