i thought i was going to dread dad’s birthday this year but it somehow went by unceremoniously . . . lucy had talked about going to london, the imperial war museum, i’m not sure if she did but she has a lot of shit going on as the old saying goes. she’s been in the hospital with terrifying gall stone pain. on the day before kira messaged me telling me that her mum has been diagnosed with brain cancer. i offered to talk but felt like an oaf throughout. there is nothing comforting i can tell anyone who has to witness someone who is close to them die of brain cancer. maybe i did better than i thought. it just all hurts so much. but i guess not everyone has to watch someone abuse and neglect someone who is close to them who is dying of brain cancer. and lie and cheat and steal. why couldn’t it have been her. i hope i can join lucy one day when she’s doing better and we’ll all go to the imperial war museum. and maybe i’ll get a place in devon and she can stay with me and we’ll all be safe there forever.
hny