feeding myself today like a sick dog, chicken, rice, sweet potato. i noticed that the monarda had sprung right back….conversely the daphne is wilting in protest, having been forcefully removed from the earth, transplanted. hope she picks up. did my usual walk/run round by 71st. almost stopped to admire some curious blue flower, but i think it may have been aquilegia. had girl dinner consisting of stale crackers, hummus, fava beans. watched some more of flow and it’s stressing me out. can we not have to worry constantly about survival for even 5 minutes. more successfully ignored today the persistent feeling that i am dying, though makes me think i should prepare for that eventuality anyway. i don’t even have a will. can’t even decide who i want to take care of. it’s all of them i guess.
sick dog